


The Lost Letters: From When Hope was Learned and Lost

by SunshineOMeara



Series: Hope for the Hopeless [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: A compainion piece to TLHOTD, As in this updates when the letters correspond with the chapter in TLHOTD, As in this will update when the letters correspond with the update, Aside from the first letter, Dont copy to another site, Gen, I'll only be posting in relation to the actual series, it is basically a series of letters between siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 02:46:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18160469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineOMeara/pseuds/SunshineOMeara
Summary: A companion piece to my main story: The Last Hope of the Dead. Basically, it is a collection of letters that Elaina is basing "The Last Hope of the Dead" on.





	1. Mary's Letter - September 24th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pain that saves a life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick question: should I keep the title this way or should it be "The Lost Letters: The Last Hope of the Dead" or something like that considering this is a companion piece?

September 24th, 2123

Dear Virginia,

If you are reading this, that means you are in England. It means I failed to reason with your father and convince him to see the truth, that you need family more than pointless travel. I apologize for your father’s behavior. I simply cannot imagine how you are feeling at this moment. I just cannot believe your father is still forcing you to go to college in England instead of staying home. Your grandfather’s sudden death hit you incredibly hard and yet he still insisted you leave your family. It would have been far healthier for you to stay at home than leaving a day after the funeral to go to another country. I know you know this, but regretfully, you have always done what he wants. I do hope this decision of your fathers does not affect your future. He should not have pushed you so hard to go to school in another country. He tried to do the same thing to your brother, who wisely turned him down. As you know, Dmitri turned out perfectly fine without going. In fact, he is close to the top of his classes and he has been dating a bright young girl for some time now.

Alas if you are reading this that means I could not get you to see reason and convince you that this decision to go will be detrimental to your future. Nor could I get your father to back off. Personally, I do not think Nathan would have wanted you to go. I think he would have had you take his death as a sign to stay. This decision of your fathers must have just broken his heart from the very beginning and the idea of you actually carrying on and doing this foolhardy thing must have been too much. Regardless, he surely would have realized that being with family and grieving properly was the healthier thing to do. Richard does not always think these things through. He spends too much time trying to force you and your brother to do things you would rather not. I am afraid there is not much I can do now, but I do hope I can at least alleviate some of the homesickness and grief you no doubt feel. I have included a journal with this letter for you to use whenever you feel homesick or overcome with grief. I am certain it will happen often. Just be careful as you never know who might go through it.

Please do not forget that the second you want to come home, just call and we will get you a ticket home.

Love,  
Your mother,  
**_Mary Anna Brooks_**

Mary Anna Brooks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 8 on my main story


	2. Dmitri - October 9th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concern radiates as pain from the past resonates

Fuck I cannot believe she sent you that. I mean I can but. Fuck. I cannot believe. Part of me wants just fly over to you can hug you for days and the other part wants to go up to her and. I have never hated our mother more than right now. Fucking hell Bobs. You did not deserve that. Nobody deserves that. Why didn’t you mention it when we talked? I know you are still unsure about what she has sunk her claws into from last time but still. You could have mentioned she sent you something. I had been hoping she learned from when I ignored her but. This is a million times worse than when I decided to go to Harvard. I mean you heard what she said, but ugh. This is so much worse. Just say the word and I’ll go home and show that to dad. ~~You know he~~ nevermind. I doubt this would be enough to leave her considered he stayed with her all these years. Just tell me what you want to do and how you are feeling and if you want me to boycott Christmas at home this year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: His name is Dmitri Felix Brooks and he was born September 16th, 2103! He is 652 days or 1 year, 9 months, 13 days or 21 months, 13 days older than his baby sister Virginia Marion Brooks.


	3. Virginia - October 14th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tiredness that has nothing to do with jet lag and all to do with the soul

October 14th, 2123

Dear Dmitri Brooks,

Please remember proper letter writing etiquette. I feel like we are writing notes in the living room again and that is not something I want right now.

Don’t. Just don’t. Go home for Christmas. Keep the letter. Don’t tell dad. Just. I know you want to introduce Eliza to the family so do that, unless you want to spend Christmas with her family again. Er Hanukkah. I think you said she was Jewish? Just don’t change your plans because of that.

Good luck with your studies,  
Virginia Brooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are all gonna be short for a bit before it starts lining up with my main story  
> P.S. Eliza is. Virginia is just not dealing well and cannot process everything. Super formal due to her inability to function


	4. Dmitri - October 22nd, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personal life starting to get affected by deep-rooted concern

Virginia Marion Bobie Brooks,  
Answer my damn question.  
I sadly will go home for Christmas because of my plan, but I need you to answer all of my questions or so help me I will go rich boy on your ass.  
-Your very concerned older brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: they are not rich, their parents are not rich, but their grandparents are rich and love to shove money their way


	5. Virginia - October 29th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A livid but budding environmentalist reminds a petty sibling of better life choices

October 29th, 2123

Dmitri Felix Ramen Brooks,

Don’t you dare fly all the way over here. I am fine. Also, stop wasting letters like that. It is a waste of postage. On that matter, why the hell aren’t my texts and words good enough for you?? Do you really need written proof???

Go to hell, you ass,  
Virginia Brooks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He is "Ramen" because he doesn't really use his grandparents money unless it is an emergency/paying for college and eats like a typical college student


	6. Dmitri - November 2nd, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Very Concerned Older Brother™ gets mad at Petty and Pouty Younger Sister™

Bobby Marion Virginia Brooks,  
PICK UP YOUR PHONE! I MADE A DAMNED GOOD POINT AND YOU KNOW IT! PICK UP!!!  
Pick up or so help me,  
Dmitri Felix Brooks.

PS stop fucking lying to me. I know you aren’t ok. We did grow up together you butt. And don’t tell me what to do???? You are the one being stupid over the phone. She can’t control/hack these phones and you know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I do not actually know how long it takes for a letter to get from Cambridge, US to Oxford, UK. Google was no help. My excuse: they paid more for it to get there faster


	7. Dmitri - November 7th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Very Concerned Older Brother™ gets mad at Petty and Pouty Younger Sister™: A continuation

Marion Virginia Bobbie Brooks,  
NOBODY NEEDS TO STUDY THAT MUCH! I KNOW YOU DON’T NOR DO YOU LIKE IT THAT MUCH! STOP LYING TO ME!  
Honestly, I would have believed you if you had told me that you were partying but the fact that you said studying is bothering me. Seriously, Virginia, stop letting her win. Please Bobs.  
I will seriously fly out there. Stop blocking me out, Boby.  
-DFB.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Her name in case you have not read the main series where I tell y'all it is: Virginia Marion Brooks. He calls her "Bobbie" and every variation of it. No consistency in the spelling pisses her off almost as much as him calling her "Boobs" in real life. He won't write it down, but he says it. It came out on accident once and he made it stick.


	8. Virginia - November 11th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger and desperation all in one as walls are seemingly crumbling

November 11th, 2123

Dear Baby Brother,

Pick a spelling, please. I swear you changed the spelling each time you used it on purpose. You know I hate it when you do that. 

I have to do well here. You know I have to do well. I tried explaining it to you but for some odd reason, you don’t get it. I need to do well. I have to prove her wrong. I can’t let her win. She always wins. She beat you down and got you do almost do what she wanted. If I stop, fail, or quit, she wins. She can’t win. I can’t let her win. I have to prove her wrong. I have to.

-VB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He is her "baby" brother honestly based on what my grandma called her older brother who was also her youngest brother. But in the story, it is because she has always had a tougher skin and more willing to stand up for herself/him and she called him that in a fit of anger. It has become a term of endearment she uses when she is five seconds away from fucking his life up


	9. Dmitri - November 18th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind words from a fellow survivor

Dear Bobbie Virginea,

If I don’t mess with your name am I really being your big brother? Also low blow.

You have to know you don’t have to prove anything to her. Remember what grandpa Nate always told us? The only person you ever have to prove yourself to is yourself. Even if you are in a relationship, you don’t have to constantly prove yourself. Just be you. All you ever have to do is be you and if that is not enough then that person is not worth your time. Trying to prove yourself to Mary is letting her win. She knows how to push your buttons to get you to do what she wants. Just live your life, Bobbs. Living your life how you want to is what will piss her off the most. Just stop caring about her. She cannot control you anymore.

Please don’t burn out,

-D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virginea = Virgin+nea -> basically say it all as one word.


	10. Virginia - November 25th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prickly surrender

Dear asshole,  
Fine. Now fuck off.  
-VB


	11. Virginia - November 28th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Storytelling Agitator meets Princess Glue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter correlates with chapter 9 in TLHOTD

November 28th, 2123

Dear Meat Tree,

I took your advice. I feel like I shouldn’t have but I did anyway. I don’t have the clearest memory of last night because it had been so long since I last had a drink and might have gotten slightly drunk. I think I might have made a friend. I wrote things down of what I remembered before I went to bed, but I am not sure how much of it actually happened. Technically, I will find out on Monday, but I want your opinion.

So you know how Donna has been wanting me to go out with them? Well, I said yes last night. I don’t actually remember where we went. I know the place she wanted to take me was full so we went somewhere else. I was getting another drink when I saw this girl who was uncomfortable with the attention this frankly creepy guy was giving her. I didn’t notice it until I was close but fuck Dmitri, she looks just like how mother wanted me to look. I mean there were differences, but from what I remember she looked just. like. what. she wanted. Perfectly taken care of long hair, non-‘slutty’ dress that just happened to be baby pink, and the most innocent appearance ever. She is even soft-spoken if my memory serves right. I almost left her there. I would have if he hadn’t started acting in a way that made me think if they were in an alleyway she. I couldn’t just stand there. So I got her out of there. I think if I was more sober it would have been hard to breathe. She was just. Everything mother would have wanted for a child. I wrote down a bit of conversation and I think from what I wrote I wanted to know if I was being mean. I think we got a cab back, which I definitely paid for which means I might need to ask grandma for more money. I don’t really remember what exactly we talked about. Her name is Adrianna. She is from Poland. She is aiming for being able to teach Polish to whoever wants to learn or even English to Polish students. She seemed really nice and I agreed to meet up with her on Monday. I just. This is a bad idea, isn’t it? It has to be. I wish I knew whether you were back from Thanksgiving break or not so I could call you. I’m glad one of us could be there this weekend with grandma. I know she hates the holiday and what it represents, but I also know it is not fun to watch everybody around you celebrate being happy and thankful for things when your husband died and your daughter-in-law is the devil. Oh and your adopted son’s biological brother keeps refusing to accept everybody as family. And your kid and grandkids are miserable because of the devil that married into the family. I need to get her a really good Christmas present because honestly, that sounds like one of the worst lives I have ever heard of. Except of course our raising.

Although, I will give dad credit. He did try and curb the she-devil’s devilness. I’m glad grandpa and grandma let us spend so much time there. I wish we could have lived there full time. At least we got the summers.

I’ll probably call you before you get this letter but I also want your opinion about what I said -VB 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids struggle with names so I decided "Dmitri" = 'Dah Me Tree' when sounded out by an annoyed mother who does not understand why her young child cannot say it. And 'Dah Meat Tree' is what a young child who gives no fucks says because isn't that exactly what she is saying????


	12. Dmitri - December 3d, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A waste of paper and postage

Bobs,  
Sorry  
D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this was written as a response to chapter 10 but was sent after chapter 11 due to mail.


	13. Dmitri - December 7th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stressed brother does his best but is also in need of advice because adulting is scary

V-Bob,

I am glad you sent that letter and gave her a chance. She really does sound like someone Mary would like, but she also sounds like someone you might need in your life. We both know the amount of issues ~~mo~~ she brought into our lives. Maybe this Adrianna will help. We both know you have issues with girls who like pink, are really kind and sweet, and have long hair. That is not healthy and a lot of people. Seriously. It is weird and not good. I still don’t know why you agreed to coffee or more study time. Or rather why you didn’t skip. Seriously? Why didn’t you? Has England really changed my sister that much?

Also, side note not related to any of your various and extensive issues, I have included a picture of the ring I got for Liz. Do you think she will like it? I mean we have talked about marriage a little, but is it too soon? She made it sound like maybe not and she definitely gave me hints for what she wanted but it hasn’t been that long? Send help.

-Dmitri.


	14. Virginia - December 11th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Agitator and the Glue meet the Mastermind Philomath while catching a glimpse of the Vagabond Scientist while a sister is insulted by lack of information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Correlates with chapter 10 in The Last Hope of the Dead

Dimmy Tree,

If she doesn’t love it and say yes then I really have no idea what kind of person you are planning on marrying. Granted I haven’t really spent too much time with Eliza, but she is gonna love it. You two are made for each other and I am so happy for you!! Wait. Is that why you have to go to Christmas this year??? Dmitri Felix Brooks!! You did not! I cannot believe you were planning on proposing without telling me!! I am insulted! And by my baby brother! After everything, I have ever done for you! Rude!

I said yes because I thought grandpa would be disappointed in me if I said no. She wanted to repay me for the cab. I insisted on paying for it because I just wanted to go to bed after I met her and grandma keeps sending me money. I agreed to meet because she seemed interesting. She basically learned Polish as a second language because her mother really only spoke English even though she was born and raised in Poland. Plus she also was interested in traveling and seeing more of the country we are in and I have spent most of my time studying. I figured if I had someone who wanted to see things in my circle who didn’t piss me off like Donna than maybe I would do things. And isn’t that weird? Donna would be the one I hung out with in high school but she pisses me off and Adrianna is the one I would have avoided. Then again Donna seems like the kind of person who would become a tabloid journalist. She loves drama and gossip. Which this place has so much of. So much.

For example, Gilbert Strauss and Moira Morphy, apparently, were really close one semester for reasons nobody knows because nobody cared at the time. Those closest to them thought they were dating, really any friend or classmate thought it. Donna made it seem like as long as you saw them together you thought they were dating. I guess one-day Moira started ignoring him or something and it was strange and people said that he was hurt by it. I mean I would too if someone I was that close to just up and started ignoring me. I guess after like 3 tries or something he left her alone until one day (so dramatic) he decided to ask her out. In front of many people. In a very obvious way. Like those proposals in like Disney or in a restaurant where the girl basically has to say yes. He had some sort of blue gift I guess which is a staple of him asking her out or rather just him having been near her. Yeah, he does this often. Anyway, she has turned him down each time or just flat out ignored him. I honestly wanted to punch him in the face when I first heard this but then I saw it.

So we are sitting in the library and this guy walks in with a blue stone vase filled with blue fake flowers. I was so intrigued because what the hell? Well, he walks up to this girl who is surrounded by books and studying like none other. She has not noticed him, but most of the library has. It is silent. He set the vase down and it almost echoed throughout the room. She looked up so slowly that I swear it was a movie monologue and takes one look at the vase with flowers than his face and then she starts crying. Like flat out bawling. It was so fucking strange. I think he started and then he put a hand on her shoulder and left! He left her! I could not let that stand so I went over to her, abandoning Adrianna, who ended up passing me and beating me to her because I guess she knows her. I wrote down the conversation because I had to share it.

When I made it to them the girl was saying: “I’m fine. I promise. I am ok.” 

I countered that with a nice: “Bullshit.” as I sat down which shocked her.

Adrianna scolded me way too much like mother. You know how she gets when she says my name, which means I had to defend myself. “As far as I am aware, crying because someone set down a vase is not a normal activity. And as far as I am aware, your glare hasn’t become effective in the last ten minutes so stop looking at me like that.” I think I glared at Adrianna for longer than necessary due to the Mary vibes. I asked the crying girl if she was ok because that's what normal humans do. She seemed to stop crying too which was good.

She then had the nerve to tell me “I am perfectly fine” in one of those cold tones like mother. Way too many Mary vibes going on there honestly. I, of course, did not react because nobody is as scary as our mother.

I was sarcastic to her and she glared at me like really? Really?

Adrianna eventually introduced us here, reluctantly, which I think was rude. Then again I think Moira is rude. I was pleasantly perfect and charming when I told her I was pleased to meet her. I got an even worse glare of my troubles. And then! And then she said she, and I quote, “wished she could say the same.” Like how rude. Anyway, then she was cleaning up her mess so I decided to see what was up with the vase because I swear those were paper flowers with writing but she told me to not like mother used to whenever we did something she didn’t like. I, of course, was not gonna let that stand because rude so I decided to give a try with my theory I was sort of developing. I said something like “Gilbert has to be more important than most people think” and because I was watching for it I saw her look afraid for a second. This was honestly the most interesting thing. Then! She denied it! So I made it obvious how much I believed her with a “Really? Because you two are apparently the talk of campus. Plus if he was as much of a stalker and or creep as the stories seem to go, one would think you wouldn’t be so protective of the vase.” 

This caused her to look like a deer in headlights and Adrianna begging me to let it go.

I then gave them the speech grandma would give us whenever we bottled our feelings up and not express them. I also gave her some other advice and left. You should be very proud of me for not being an asshole. But like? Dmitri Felix Brooks! What the fuck did I just witness? Like? Brother of the same unfortunate mother, please explain to me what happened. Is Gilbert a creep? Because? I? Do? Not? Know? I wish I could talk to you about this on the phone, but I am now way too paranoid to do that. Like. What if it is like mother?

Your only sister who likes to know things,

VB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading!


	15. Dmitri - December 17th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boring man just wants to live his normal life, but realizes he is more paranoid than he previously thought.

Va Ginra,

Sorry. I thought I told you. I think I have the same problem of not trusting phones. I hope she says yes. I’m gonna take her to my favorite spot and propose there.

I never understand why your life turns out the way it does. Like. How??? Also, I refuse to believe you weren’t more of an ass. I know you. You get rude and buck at people who remind you of mother. Otherwise, how am I supposed to respond to this Marion? Like?? Your life is weird. I just want to get married and have 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Leave me and my boringness alone.

DB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I felt bad about forgetting to upload so I decided to give you the response.


	16. Virginia - December 29th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Agitator gains the full story of the Philomath and the Scientist, but loses more than she would have ever wanted. This is the story of her trying to deal with her loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This correlates with chapter 11-13 on TLHotD

Dmitri,

Here is what you missed:

I went early to mine and Adrianna’s study session on Monday the 13th. I was not sure if she was going to show up or not due to what happened on that Friday. When Adrianna did show up, I told her I was surprised she did. I really did not expect her to show up. It sort of hurt when she told me she thought about not showing up. She actually brought Máire (apparently it is not Moria. Who would have guessed?) with her that day. It was incredibly shocking. I mean I was kind of rude to them both.

Although when Máire said, “Adrianna trusts you. I do not want to but not telling you might do more harm than good,” I was even more shocked. It did not help that it sounded like admitting that was causing her pain. I was not sure what that meant my I was partially concerned about accidentally stumbling upon some gang or something. I told her I don’t really need to know if it is such a big deal. Apparently, it is more “beneficial” for me to know. Turns out her father is one of those control freaks who like to dictate everything their children do. Apparently, because Gilbert is not Catholic or German is a crime for some reason. She does not know why he thinks like that, but she had to cut ties with Gilbert, even though all they were apparently doing was studying together.

Of course, finding this out was not the painful part. No, it was her eyes. They looked like mine do when mother managed to force me to be her doll, which is an even better analogy because her face was so blank. And her voice. Dim, her voice sounded like she was trying to keep the pain out of her words, but was in so much pain that it took all she had even say the words without her words wavering, which she succeeded in until the end of her sentence when she said she has to cut ties with Gilbert.

Honestly, at that point, I just wanted to know that she found a way to talk to him. Lucky, he has a roommate that she knows who works not far from campus or that particular library. I really do not know where he works. But she managed to get a letter to him and apparently Gilbert’s response to the letter was asking her out occasionally and giving her gifts. Although, she said all she said was that her father threatened to pull her out of school if there spent any time together.

I had no idea what was going on through his mind, but neither does she. I said something about him possibly being creepy as the only reason I could think of and she replied to in such a forceful manner I honestly thought she was trying to not snap at me. We went back to studying.

Turns out, Gilbert Strauss is just a nice guy. I found out his reasoning the day I missed my flight. I did not miss my flight. I skipped my flight. I gave it up to someone who wanted to go home. I just could not do it, Dmitri. How could I leave this place where I felt the most like myself and go back there where _she_ lives. And now. I.

As soon as I rebooked my flight to a few days later, I went back to Oxford. I was staying for the year so why not just sleep in my own bed. I actually stopped at a park before I went back. That’s how I met Gilbert. I was laying on a park bench with my luggage nearby and I suppose I was looking rather pitiful. I was recording the sound of the area for when mother got too much when he sat down at the little patch of the bench by my feet.

“You look like you’re still in the middle of finals week,” said a male voice that I debated ignoring him or talking to him like a human being. When I decided to talk to him, I sat up and realized he looked vaguely familiar, so I took a stab in the dark.

“Finals didn’t hit me this hard, Gilbert.” I definitely enjoyed the way he sat up straighter and looked me in surprise when I said his name.

“I apologize ma’am but you have me at a disservice.”

“Well we can’t have that, can we. Virginia Brooks, nice to meet you.” His eyes widened in a way that made me realize someone informed him of my existence.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Brooks. As you appear to know, I am Gilbert Strauss.” He smiled as he took my hand that I only offered because of grandpa.

“I feel like you are being weirdly polite, Mister Strauss, though I’m not sure why.”

“Well, habits die hard. I do hope this doesn’t come across as rude but is everything alright?” He cocked his head to the side like a dog. Like the De Oliveira’s dog, Monica. You know how if we made a weird noise, she would turn her head? Yeah, he did that.

“Oh, just feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I don’t want to go home or actually celebrate Christmas or see my mother or go back and have to celebrate Christmas without my grandpa. Or think. I’ve decided thinking is a terrible hobby.” To be honest, I think I was staring ahead and not really seeing anything because. I. I actually thought that was the worst thing in the world. I was so, so wrong.

“While I’m sure our circumstances are different, I know that feeling well. I find distractions help immensely until you are ready to deal with reality.” If I remember right, he relaxed during our conversation and I think it was here. I think Adrianna or Máire talked about me. Probably Adrianna.

“Any suggestions?” I asked, my voice quieter than it was previously.

“Films or dinner with friends helps the most. I tend to still get distracted with simple companionship.”

“Well, I have no plans if you want to go with.” I do not know why I said that. I think. I think I did not want to be alone. Plus, it was a good distraction. I got to learn about the weirdo who stole Máire’s heart. He was definitely surprised by my question. I felt this sudden burst of unease and so I cut him off before he could say something. “I’ve heard enough about you in the past couple of weeks to know I won’t get randomly murdered or kidnapped. Plus I am oh so dreadfully curious about you, and so when I saw an opportunity, I took it.”

He gave this almost embarrassed laugh and after a few false starts. “I have no idea what films are at the cinema, but I have no objects.”

“Good, then we can go as soon as we drop my luggage off.”

“My apartment isn’t too far from here.” He mentioned after a moment of hesitation.

“Probably closer than my dorm. Lead the way.” With that, we went and got dinner then saw this dumb movie. I don’t actually remember what it was. I guess it really isn't important. I forgot to pick up my luggage but Adrianna asked him for me to keep it until the flight. I just. I did not want to think about it. He. Gilbert really reminds me of dad. Adrianna and I met up for breakfast before she took me to Gilbert’s building. Gilbert wanted to take me to the airport so someone would see me off, but I was emotionally drained by then with just the thought of seeing her. He did walk me to the bus stop so I took it as a chance to find out more about that day in the library. I figured you would want to know what happened then too.

“Just out of curiosity, why did the vase you gave Máire make her cry?” I asked as soon as we set off toward my stop. There was a long pause before he answered.

“I’m almost surprised you didn’t ask last time, seeing as you know about that incident. I suppose I can assume that she told you enough and at least halfway trusts you if she decided to study with you. It really isn’t my story to tell, but she started uni a year after me. As fate would have it, we actually truly ran into each other. Her coffee spilled as a result and I offered to replace it. Had it been any other day, she probably would have told me no, but as luck would have it she needed a distraction. So, we went to the nearest café and we just. Hit it off. We ended up meeting up during almost every break we had. Sometimes we would talk or eat, and others we simply studied together. I don’t remember how long it took, but I started to notice that her jewelry consisted of her signature pendant and some other form of jewelry with the same stone. Granted I thought it was a color preference at first, but when I asked if blue was her favorite color, she told me it was the stone, not the color. She got the necklace from a friend who died. It was actually the friend’s birthstone not Máire’s but… the stone means a lot to her now as it is the only thing she has left from her friend. She finds the stone and color comforting. So, when her dad decided to threaten her, and I saw the carefree spitfire I grew to love turn into a robotic doll…I did the only thing I could think of when I read her note. I found a box with potential and covered it in imitation blue topazes, as it was the closest thing I could find to aquamarine at the time. I filled it with notes, and reassurances, and gave it to her. But when I did go to give it to her, I saw fear and pain in her face and eyes, and her note that tried to sound calm but the fact that she was begging me to stay away.”

He had to pause to collect himself. I was just kind of overwhelmed. Just describing her being in pain brought him pain. Like I know he was probably remembering her pain, but it was still weird to see. He cares for her, D. He really, really cares for her and loves her. Like. I cannot imagine. What is that like? What is it like to have someone love you so deeply? I mean we have grandma and grandpa as an example but still. Like. It hurts them to not be together but to be so in love. How do they survive? It seems like it isn’t worth it. Part of me wants to tell them to get over it and the other part wants to fix this. To let them be happy.

“No. I knew her and she was begging me to leave her alone for _my_ own safety. She said more than once that it would not be good for my health to go near her. And for some odd reason, the only thing I could think of was the one thing I’ve wanted to say for weeks and it came tumbling out. As soon as ‘will you go out with me?’ left my mouth and her eyes started watering as she looked at me in shock, I hated myself. So, I smiled at her and left. The gifts from then on were reminders that no matter what I will always be there for her and nothing will change that. Asking her out was more of me saying ‘no matter what I love you.’ I’m not sure if she feels the same way or understands what I mean, but she hasn’t given me a true ‘no,’ she normally ignores me so I can’t help, but hope. I realize it sounds...bad. When I say it like that, but she gave Ben a ‘thank you’ note once so I. I just have hope I guess.” He stopped walking here and took a shaky breath in. I moved in front of him so I could look him in the eye.

“I can almost guarantee that she feels the same. For the record.” He almost seemed to collapse into himself in relief as he heard this. Like my word meant anything. Like I was telling him something he needed to hear to actually feel good.

“Thank you.” His voice was shaking just as much as the rest of him as he covered his face with his hands.

“Anytime. And thank you.” I whispered, not willing to talk louder as he slowly put himself back together. It took a few minutes before we were off again, only to stop once again because Uncle Jason was calling.

I can’t write more. Sorry.

\- Your sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Part 1 is now done for both books!


	17. January 3rd 2124

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pain of a future without the past begins

Dim,

I know what Gilbert said to Jason, but I feel like it is pointless to actually write down. I know we went back to his house so he could pack a bag and then I guess we went to the airport. I was in such a state of shock I didn’t even realize I was getting on a plane or in a taxi or being directed all over the place. I just shut down. I mean all he said was, “there was an accident. I’m sorry,” and I shut down. Like what kind of pathetic being just shuts down from that. He didn’t even tell me that you all. He said nothing about that and I just shut down. Oh, joy of joys.

Grandma still uses the fireplace. Most people don’t actually burn wood anymore, but. She does. Her house still smells the same. It is the only thing that’s the same anymore. I. Just. Oh dear baby brother of mine, you were always supposed to be the oldest. I know I made fun of you, but I was always supposed to be your baby sister, always the younger one. You're supposed to always be 652 days older than me. A year, nine months, and thirteen days older. Not. Not 640 days. And going down. Before I know it your gonna be -652

So last time I wrote to you, g-ma gave me a security box full of stuff Mary left for us. I did not open it. Earlier, I gave it to Gilbert to look through. I wish mother was still alive so I could punch her. Fun fact: her name is not, in fact, Mary Anna Smith. It is Penelope Isadora McCormack. Her parents are not dead either. They are Bruce and Carrie McCormack, attorneys at law, who just want to bury their daughter who ran away BECAUSE THEY DID NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH HER. She got fucking kidnapped and experimented because SHE DID NOT WANT TO GO HOME AND WAS A SPOILED BRAT. I knew. I knew deep down that she was a terrible person, but I always hoped she was. Kind. Good. Someone who loved us. She knew. She knew that people were after her. They both knew. They all knew. Dmitri, they all knew that people would be after her. I am too afraid to ask ~~gra~~ Brooklyn if they all knew that people would want to kill her. I mean the story she told us sounds like maybe they knew. But. I just want to believe that she was the only one who knew that.

Jason didn’t know. Uncle Jason was just as shocked as I was and even Gilbert knew next to nothing even though his father played a part in this mess. It just makes me tired and it makes me hate that I have to go. Of course, it takes me dying for me to get along with him. And I know what you want to say and I know I got along with him the best, but it actually felt like we were connecting and getting along. Hell the first thing he said when he read mother’s fucked up letter ‘explaining’ things to us, he said he wished he put a hit out on her first. Not that it matters. Not anymore.

As of 28 December 2123, I am now Elaina Alexis Strauss. I am Canadian and the daughter of Wolfgang Strauss and Maggie Lynnette Robinson. I was born 3 February 2015 and Gilbert Strauss is my older brother.

Apparently, the best way to get Jason to interact with you for a long period of time is to need a new identity.

I go back to Oxford with Gilbert soon and.

I love you and will always miss you, Dmitri Felix Brooks, world’s best brother.

Sincerely,

Virginia Marion Brooks RIP 12/23/2123

Elaina Alexis Strauss

P.S.

Did you propose to Eliza?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to start updating on Saturday's instead of Tuesday's for school-related reasons  
> Also this and the next were hard to write because ow


End file.
